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Kulix Mentagion
Locket and Cup
If we want to scrub floors, then by god we should be able to! 
3rd-Nov-1997 07:31 pm
strength in her convictions

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We have a problem in our society, ladies and gents, and as time goes on it’s becoming more and more apparent (and harmful). I, Lisa Jean Turpin, can no longer stand idly by and watch our blessed country and establishment be torn asunder by it—so I have founded a group that I can get behind wholeheartedly and hopefully use to improve on this problem. I hope that you can do the same.

The Society for the Prevention of the Outmoding of Useable Scutwork by Elves. S.P.O.U.S.E for short.

I am sick and tired of all menial job-opportunities for able-bodied young witches and wizards being usurped by House Elves! In our society, if it is your dearest ambition to be a maid, cook or butler? You’d never be able to get a job! Anyone can go out and find a House Elf to do those tasks for free—thus, you’re forced to go out and toil away in a job that you hate—when you could be scrubbing floors at minimum wage. How many more dreams must be crushed before people will sit up and take notice? I say we cast off our shackles of silence and tell the world! We want those jobs!

A change is coming, ladies and gentleman. House Elves will leave these posts eventually—but the question is: do we want to shift the positions in a controlled and reasonable manner? Or haphazardly, when the Great House Elf Revolution comes to pass. Yes, that’s right, I’ve said it. The notion of a Revolution is a rather taboo subject nowadays, but I want to change that. How can we prepare ourselves for this inevitable event when we’re trying so hard to remain ignorant and in denial?! At this very moment House Elves are exacting small revenges—and even being groomed for independence by such organizations as S.P.E.W. I say that we support these Elves in their quest and ready ourselves to swoop in gracefully when their jobs become available.

I sincerely hope that you all will seriously consider what it is I’m saying. S.P.O.U.S.E needs your support to get off the ground and accomplish its cause! Rise up beside us and help make our dream a reality! Servile positions for all! Please contact me if you’re interested in volunteering or donating money or supplies.

Pamphlets and complimentary S.P.O.U.S.E legwarmers and potholders will be forthcoming.
4th-Nov-2005 12:03 pm (UTC)
When's the first meeting? I'll bring donuts.
4th-Nov-2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
As soon as I figure out how to knit a legwarmer.


(Do you think Granger will kick my arse for this? Should I find a bodyguard or something?)
4th-Nov-2005 08:01 pm (UTC)
If she does, than she's got a poor sense of humour. But just in case, I can provide protective services for a small fee.
4th-Nov-2005 08:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, fantastic, then. We should think up a proper bodyguard name for you. What's your middle name?
4th-Nov-2005 08:47 pm (UTC)
My middle name is Andrew - which means "manly" by the way. I read that in a name meaning book I found in the Hufflepuff Common room awhile ago.
4th-Nov-2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
Hmm, well that does work. I have to say, I'd feel a little safer if it was something like 'Rex' or 'Spartacus'.
5th-Nov-2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
Would you like me to change it?
6th-Nov-2005 03:18 am (UTC)
Well, it's your name. How would you feel about being called Spartacus?
4th-Nov-2005 03:46 pm (UTC)
But who would want to be a domestic? Honestly!
4th-Nov-2005 07:27 pm (UTC)
I know you better than you know yourself! You want the freedom of being able to!
4th-Nov-2005 11:37 pm (UTC)
I reckon that SPOUSE sounds a heck of a lot better than SPEW. Er, but don't let Hermione read that - she might just kill me, you know.
4th-Nov-2005 11:40 pm (UTC)
I reckon you're right about that. Plus, we'll nag you about this-- and isn't that what spouses are for?

Uh, I'll do my best not to let her read what's written in an open forum...
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